I am Weak

 If I was to summarize this post into one sentence, that would be - I'm weak...

I am a simple and lazy person, who usually just does things for fun. Ambitionless, I simply go with the flow and hardly exert any effort for a better tomorrow.

If there was something that motivates me, I guess that's 'to be needed'. Being surrounded by talented people, I long for a place where I am significant. And when I find that place, I find it hard to let go.

That would explain everything I held on to: My friends, YL, SL, Oracle, KoL, clans, orders, my work decisions, and even this blog, among several others.

That would explain why I was happy being in MDM, being praised by my friends and clients, being told that I've helped someone with their problems, knowing I inspired someone. These little things made me feel like I was making a difference; that I found my place; my reason of being. Thinking about it, perhaps this is why I ended 'Yuu Arc' that way...

I have little desire to be praised and awarded. Rather, it could even make me uncomfortable, but I digress...

Why am I weak? Because that very motivation of mine is also my roadblock. I am afraid of leaving the place where I felt needed. That's why I'm afraid to make the decision I clearly have to make.

I was the one who said it, unknowing that it was the very problem I was having, or will be having...

"...when we are uncertain about something, more often than not, we already know what our answer should be. There's just something that's making us hesitant in making our decision. Maybe you're afraid that someone will get hurt, or you'll be outside your comfort zone. You remain undecided because the point you're currently on is your safe zone.

This is why we ask for advice. We often don't really need other peoples' advice. Rather, what we're looking for is that push... The push to the path that we already know we'd take."

The answer is obvious...

    I am just weak...

Strange Dream - Sweet Nightmare

January 25, 2011. I had a strange dream.
I was married to a lovely girl, whose face I cannot remember anymore. All I remember are what I felt in that dream. Some time passed. I've witnessed the pain of childbirth from others. Not wanting to see my wife in pain, I didn't want to have a child unless my wife wants one. Years quickly passed and before I knew it, we had two children. Two were boys. I remember my wife wanting a girl after we had our first child, which explains why we had another one. She said the girl will be her favorite.

I loved our children to death. I spent a lot of time with them and they seemed to like me as well. I caught a glimpse of my wife. She looked older and wasn't as thin as I recall her (in my dream) to be. Actually, she really looked like a mother.
My wife feels like I've been neglecting something- Possibly herself. I can't remember. But because of that, we were about to have a divorce.

Don't know how long after. But something bad happened that resulted to our children dying. Maybe it was a natural disaster or an accident. I recall looking at a small, broken picture of one of our children.

I felt so broken afterwards, as if there was nothing else to live for.
Some time passed. I walked out a door, possibly the back door of my house since the placed looked like an alley. There were some small steps going down from the door. Below the steps was our daughter, the third child.
I remember her hugging me. I cried and hugged her back. She made me realize that I still have something to live for.
We went to the beach. There was some sort of celebration. People were dancing. Among them was my wife. She looked happy. I knew then that she canceled the divorce as she was happy with me again.

That dream gave me a strange feeling after I woke up. I can't explain it, but it's there...

Breaking News Flash!

Breaking News Flash

Love Necklace is completed! Well, the draft, actually. I might still change a few things. But I'm just happy I finally finished one work. I already have another one in the starting stage, which makes it hard for me to keep working on Love Necklace. The next one is 'Where the Lines Intersect'. I won't reveal what it's about, but I'm quite excited in working on this. Finished a rough storyline of the beginning. I just hope I could finish this work. But having little free time, it'll be a long time. And with dango project, I will have even less free time.

It's a difficult task, but somebody's got to do it. I happen to enjoy it though. Well, that's it for now! Catch ya later! ^^

('That's all?' you ask? There's a reason why it's a news flash. Deal with it!)

Endless Horizon

Maybe you'd like to ask "What's with the title?" Or maybe not... Well, I'll tell you anyway. It's the title of my latest poem. I wrote it while listening to a song called "Chiisana Tenohira" (Palm of a Tiny Hand). Anyway, here goes it!

=====================================================
Endless Horizon

Looking back, looking back,
I could see you crying.
I hesitate, almost regretting
Looking back to those lonely days.

Can you remember the wish I made back then?
Our days of tears, disappointments, and hardships,
I wanted to forget them.
Now I wish otherwise.

Watching the forever extending horizon,
Feeling your warm hand within mine
Reminds me of the days long gone;
Those struggling times you never let go.

Our past that is stained with our tears
Now reflects a bright future for us.
I try to imagine the coming years.
I doubt there's anything left to bring us down.

The flightless bird cries;
It could only watch the others fly;
Doing its best to heal its wing;
Someday, it'll soar the highest.

Walking towards the forever extending horizon
With your hand clapsed to mine.
I feel like I could start running.
I'll never let go of your hand.

The times you never gave up on me
and the times I never gave up on you
Will remain with us forever;
Making us stronger.

Watching the forever extending horizon,
Feeling your warm hand within mine
Reminds me of the days long gone;
Those struggling times you never let go.
=====================================================

I just wrote it yesterday. I wasn't even feeling inspired. I just liked the song so much that I felt like writing something with its melody. I feel like I didn't bring the song justice though T.T Anyway, the song was from an anime called CLANNAD (Russian for Family). It was very different from the usual anime I watch and I really like it. Yes, it's so epic it's blog worthy!

As this isn't an anime blog, I won't discuss what's it about. Back to life.

I finally reached my first goal after graduation. To get into HP. I started out with little hope, hearing how strict it was from my brother. After my first interview, my hope of entering decreased. But they told me that the result will be revealed in two weeks so I waited, fearing what might happen when I don't get in. Soon, HP contacted me for my second interview. This time, I felt more ready for questions. But it turned out to be a technical interview, where they gave me a test. All of the items were those I either never encountered before or I forgot about. Then they asked me a few interview questions afterwards, which I wasn't able to answer well due to shock.

I lost all hope after that one. Watching CLANNAD made me reflect on a lot of things about life (yes, it's that epic). After getting inspired, I applied in Smart and other companies I never heard of. Later on, I was placed in wait list in Smart and I found out I wasn't able to send my applications successfully in the other companies. I applied in Jobstreet, which now spams me with jobs I'm not interested in.

Finally, I was contacted by Hp for my third interview. I thought about my first interview and prepared myself. I soon found myself being filled with a lot of information regarding HP. After getting brain-dead, I was asked once again a few questions which I answered with answers I regret giving out. I was told there was an interviewee who would come after me. One was going to be picked.

Turns out, we were both employed. Not that I'm disappointed or anything. I'm actually very happy. And now, I find myself with a lot of documents to collect, apply in, and send to HP. I just hope I make it in time at the pace I'm going.

That's it for now! Catch ya later! ^^

Graduation

Graduation
I never thought the time would come. But here it is. My college journey's end is just in front of me, waiting for me to walk past it. My life's about to start all over again.

I never thought I'd live through thesis. Always felt like I'd be stuck within one of the hell weeks near the end of the last term. But as all good things must come to an end, the same rule applies to hell weeks. Time does not stop for anything.

Now, I can see the end. The sign which says "End of College" stands beside that part of the road in front of me. Just a few steps away from where the road branches infinitely. Who knows what the future holds in store for me. Do I pick a road now? Or should I take some time preparing myself mentally first.

Maybe, someday, I'll just feel that it's time to take my first step into the unknown. Guess I'll just relax for a while; do some things I've been wanting to do.

That's it for now! Catch ya later! ^^

Update

Update

It's been a while since I just typed in my thoughts. So I'm doing it now. Bully for you. Anyway, right now, I'm having my OJT as a requirement of the school. I'm having it in PSBank, under System Development Dept. It started out slow since the PC took a long time to get to the department and a number of different delays. But right now, a lot of work is piling up for me. For example, after finishing the html page my officemate asked me to do yesterday, I was asked to help test the remote banking system. I believe there are more work in the line.

Despite that, my OJT experience has been fun. My officemates and supervisor have been very nice and friendly to us, trainees. No, not my classmates. Although 3 of my classmates work at PSBank for their OJT as well, I'm in a separate department. When asked what I remember from my OJT, most of the things that will come to mind are the laughters and jokes, just as my supervisor was telling us just this afternoon. As I remember, what he said was like this (Not in English)...

"When you're asked what you remember from your OJT, tell them about the laughter. Forget what you learned and all those things. Just the Laughter..."

Yes sir! Jake Ngo Signing out. Salut! (Just wanted to place that there, in remembrance of  Borgchat) Well, that's it for now! Catch ya later!

==OJT Experience Credits:==

Sir RasDi (The Supervisor)

SerVer (The Server?)

Sir Jids (Rohan Rookie)

Sir Cari (Or Cary... The Demon? Haha)

Sir Christian (P1)

Sir Jan (P2)

Sir Dunstan (The Evolved... Just now)

Sir Alvin (Reminds me of Jason)

Sir Randell (Sir Alvin's Idol)

Ma'am Wilma (The Mom)

Ma'am Ilyn (Senpai!)

Cheslyn (Same level... Ok... So she's also a senpai. But not in the dept.)

=End of Credits=

Taiwan Trip

Taiwan Trip

April 5 ARRIVAL AT TAIPEI
We went to Taipei through a cool plane. Each seat (or most of them) had its own TV. I watched Yes Man. The plane also had YUI's I Loved Yesterday Album in the selection. It took me some time to decide what to do. Anyway, We went to Agora Garden Hotel after arriving. The room is way awesome. We had a living room in our room, complete with some couches. After a few minutes rest, we went snack hunting at the nearby malls. We ate at 7/11, where I had a hotdog in a bun. After eating, we walked around and found the good places to eat at. We explored around before returning to the hotel to rest and meet up with our tour group.

We ate dinner at BullFight Steak and Seafood, a restaurant (guess what type), which was located in New York New York, a mall. I had a short rib steak, Caesar Salad (finished it), mango jelly thingy (like in Pizza Hut), bread, and drank red iced tea. The steak wasn’t good, considering I like most steaks.

After eating, we went to Taipei 101 to explore. Then we returned to the hotel, where my lil bro and I watched One Piece movie in Chinese. After that, we went to sleep. I slept well. The room was very silent.

April 6 TAIPEI TOUR
Breakfast at hotel. It was good. Then we went picture taking in lots of places. We then went to national palace museum (Forgot what was there). Then we had lunch somewhere where we ate siao lung paos (or however you spell that dumpling like thingy with soup inside), dumpling, rice, drank soup, and had a dumpling wrapped red bean.

We then went to other places to take pictures then went to the hot spring, where I found out hot spring water stunk. We then had dinner in a buffet place, with a Mongolian barbeque grill. I had four round in the Mongolian barbeque place. After dinner, we went to a church to tour around then we went to the night market, where only Michelle was able to buy something.

We then went back to the hotel. There was nothing worth watching. But we watched Tears to Tiara (Japanese with Chinese subtitles). My little brother and I made joke dubs. Slept well that night.

April 7 TAIPEI-TAICHUNG
Breakfast in hotel. It was the same as the previous day. We left Taipei by high speed railway to Taichung. We went to a huge Buddhist temple (I’m guessing that was Zhong Tai Buddhist Temple). The stories of the monk guide were very interesting. After that, we had lunch in a place around 15 mins away. I didn’t like the food much.

After lunch, we went to other places like Sun Moon Lake, where we first tried the black sugar lollipop with salty thingy on a side. Nothing else was worth mentioning. Could be because of the rain. Anyway, we had steak for dinner with salad bar (or as Jeremy, the tour guide, says: “all you can eat salaba”). We went to Chinatrust Hotel for overnight. Nothing special about the hotel. Didn’t sleep as well as the previous nights.

April 8 TAICHUNG-ALISHAN FOREST RECREATION-TAINAN
Breakfast at hotel. It wasn’t good. Left for Alishan Forest Recreation, but had tea on a tea shop on the way. The place was just a long trail with a lot of old trees. We had lunch first before taking pictures around the place.

Long story short; Left Alishan, had dinner, went to Wei Yat Toong Mao Grand Hotel, where the room was relatively better than Chinatrust’s but not close to Agora’s. Can’t sleep at first but slept well later on.

April 9 TAINAN-KAOSHUNG
Breakfast at hotel. Aside from the noodles, I didn’t like the food. Went to temples, ate lunch which I didn’t like, then went to buddha land. It was like the small world ride in Star City before (I don’t know if it still exists), without the ride and the music. Ok... So I’m not sure if there wasn’t any music as I forgot. Anyway, after that, we went to Tiger and Dragon Pagoda. Then we went to Ambassador hotel, a 5 star hotel that isn’t as good as Agora. We went to another night market, where we a different types of food for dinner. Went back to hotel after that. Didn’t sleep well.

April 10 KAOSHIUNG-HUALIEN
I’m guessing nothing good happened on that day as my journal only occupied three lines. It said: “Breakfast at hotel. Didn’t like the food. Hard time sleeping, but slept well.”

April 11 HUALIEN-YILAN-TAOYUAN
Breakfast at hotel. It was the least I ate by far among all breakfasts. Hated the food in lunch. Buffet at hotel for dinner, where I ate noodles, 4 siomais, and almond for dessert. I placed the meals first since I didn’t talk about the trip in my journal. Basically, the only part I liked was the visit to National Center for Traditional Arts. It was a place with lots of different stores (imagine Ong Pin). What’s special about the place is that there are times where people there go outside their stores to exhibit their arts, such as glass sculpture, clay sculpture (Which was really good... We saw some of the works and watched how the person creates them), and puppetry.

Anyway, back to journal. My lil bro and I watched Detective Conan marathon in chinese in the hotel room, along with parts of Mr. Bean’s Holiday. Watched FMA Brotherhood (Japanese with Chinese subtitles again) after Mr. Bean’s Holiday. Hated the room. Not only is it not cold, there’s a darn nightlight (exit sign), which we can’t turn off. We might as well have left a light open. Didn’t sleep well.

April 12 TAIPEI-MANILA
Breakfast at hotel then went to airport. I finished Yes Man, watched a little Bolt, which I liked, and listened to YUI in the plane.

Late Thailand Trip

Once more, another delayed post on a trip I've had with my family and relatives. I just read these from my phone journal and tried recalling as much as possible.

====================================================================

Thailand Trip
12-24
Arrival in Bangkok. We got a flower wreath, basically flowers stuck to a long pink ribbon. I learned that ribbon doesn't feel good around the neck, and apparently, I got the one with the dying flowers. Anyway, we went to Arnoma Hotel. Went to a mall near the hotel to eat. There are lots of food there cheaper than in the Philippines. Ex: Crepe costs 25 baht for two flavors and 30 for three. I ate a lot of free tastes (Don't exactly remember where). According to my notes, leeching is fun. In one mall, we saw a mall Santa with lots of elves (kids). We had dinner at Galaxy Hotel. It wasn't bad. ButI wasn't able to eat too much since I didn't feel like eating that time. The hotel room is noisy, but it was easy to sleep after getting used to the noise. Woke up a lot though.

12-25
Breakfast buffet at hotel. I didn't like the food. Went to Dream World, a theme park. Took a lot of pictures and rode several rides. The most awesome one was Super Splash, a wild river type. It certainly lived up to its name. After impact from the high slide, your view will be as if you're surrounded by an opaque force field of water, seeing nothing but water...It was mesmerizing. After the ride, there's a bridge where you can get splashed. We let ourselves get splashed two times. It was awesome, as if watching a mini tsunami coming at you. Though that was the awesomest in the theme park, the coolest is the snow toboggan ride in Snow Town. Anyway, we ate lunch there. Buffet, Rating: It was okay. Dinner was at Royal Something. The food was full of fried ones, unlike the day before. It was good. Slept at Arnoma again. This time, slept very well.

12-26
Breakfast was the same as the previous day's. Went to Safari and Marine World and watched several animal shows. Orangutan, seal, elephant, had lunch, dolphin, spy world, bird show. The one I liked the most was the seal act, closely followed by bird show then dolphin. I didn't enjoy the orangutan and the elephant shows. Lunch was similar to the day before's, but a bit better. Ate buffet dinner. Loved the barbeque pork. It was like steaks on a stick. Slept at Woodlands Hotel and Resort, at Pattaya. The room's weird. Not only are there no locks for the comfort room, there's also a window that can be opened from teh room to the comfort room. Didn't sleep well at all. I got a sore throat, the neighbor rooms are noisy, things in our room creak, and my lil bro is eating up my space.

12-27
Dunno if the breakfast is better since my appetite was down (I assume this is due to sore throat). Went to Pattaya Beach. Rode speedboat to an island. Stopped for parasailing first. When we arrived, I was too dizzy to play around the beach (not like I wanted to). Just lay around and made sand sculptures. Lunch was fine, but still no appetite. Went back to hotel for shower. Went to elephant show and then to a mall: Something Lotus. Had dinner somewhere, which wasn't bad. After that, we walked around Pattaya, which was a waste of my life. Overnight once more at woodlands. Sore throat got worse, but slept well.

12-28
Breaksfast at Woodlands. Still low appetite. Went to Sriracha Tiger Zoo to watch animal shows. Starting from pig race, then crocodile show, tiger circus, and another elephant show. We had lunch there. Went back to Bangkok. Went to Siam Paragon's Ocean world, then went to Arnoma Hotel. We had dinner in a cruise, which was good. But I didn't feel like eating much. I didn't get dizzy at all. On the way back to the hotel, sticker madness in the bus. Overnight at Arnoma. Slept well.

12-29
Free day. Had Breakfast at hotel then walked around in shopping places. I got into a bad mood while walking around. My sore throat didn't help one bit. Had luch in a fast food place then my lil bro and I went back to the hotel to drop off the stuff the others bought. Then I walked around in Big C. Returned to hotel and watched TV till dinner time. Had dinner at fast food of Big C. After that, we walked around Big C before returning to hotel. Slept very well.

12-30
Ate breakfast at hotel. Pack up and leave.

====================================================================

One thing I remember from this is that too much elephant shows in one trip: Hateable.

I'll post Taiwan trip sometime...

Gemini-Cancer

Gemini-Cancer
June 20-June27

Individuals born on the cusp of Gemini (the third Sign of the Zodiac) and Cancer (the fourth Sign of the Zodiac) are ruled by both Mercury and the Moon. These cuspians possess a large degree of brilliance and influence, and tend to control those around them. They dislike work which is perceived to be laborious and the inherent shrewdness here often enables Gemini/Cancer natives to attain the "world's goods" without a great deal of physical or mental effort on their part. Anxious to gain public favor, these cuspians generally succeed by virtue of their great tact and versatility. Interested in heredity and ancestors, this is often reflected in a desire to care for relatives and propagate the family line.

The Gemini/Cancer cusp combination, also known as the Cusp of Magic, correspondences symbolically to the period of human life at around the age of twenty-one. Romantic and inspirational, these natives often employ their talents and energies in the service of a higher purpose...family, religion, philosophy, arts and political or social causes, for example. These are individuals who can wholeheartedly throw themselves into devotional activities and often appear to be mild, even self-effacing characters. Many Gemini/Cancer subjects prefer anonymity in their careers, although there can also be more aggresive natives of this cusp who become assertive as they mature and have no problem in letting the world know who they are. Easily seduced, most of these cuspians have the ability to enchant those around them...both consciously and unconsciously. Such individuals do possess a rather sweetly innocent charm and need to be wary of being imposed upon. However, by virtue of the inherent defensive instinct associated with this cusp combination, even the most mild of these natives will be inclined to gently lay down emotional guidelines that should not be overstepped. The more aggresive of these cuspians are frequently well aware of their powers of persuasion and may employ such power without any qualms whatsoever in order to get their own way, even though others might be hurt in the process.

Blessed with charm and magnetism, Gemini/Cancer subjects can be remarkably cool characters possessed with a useful objectivity, and their reasoning abilities may well prove to be an effective foil to deep emotions. Falling within the influence of both Gemini and Cancer, these cuspians are, in fact, a rather interesting blend of logic and feeling. Thus, when an appeal is made to the emotions of others, it is done in a detached and thoughful manner. Not ones to be easily upset, Gemini/Cancer natives inspire confidence by way of sympathy, concern and a willingness to help. They possess the knack of entering the hearts of those they love and a reluctance to relinquish that position, even when separations are necessary. These cuspians tend to be rather private people who are far from eager to grant others access to their inner world. They often fare best when they are able to work from home and will frequently set up such a home as a type of retreat or sanctuary. If the Gemini/Cancer native does allow another to share his or her living space, then such implies immense trust and a great deal of respect for the other person. An invitation to visit this highly personal world is more often the giving of a true gift or the reflection of a desire to share, rather than a sign of ostentation or need for sociability. Indeed, there is a danger here for these cuspians to isolate themselves from the society around them and retreat into an unproductive dreamworld. Such detachment will stunt the personal and spiritual development of these natives which could, later in life, be perceived by them as a sign of failure. Thus, remaining in touch with reality is important for Gemini/Cancer subjects and they need to find friends and partners who are more extroverted by nature in order to provide an essential link to the world. There is also a tendency for these cuspians to be passively selfish and others may view this as a demand for constant attention...a belief that the Gemini/Cancer cuspian thinks the world revolves around him or her. In short, the special needs and wants of these natives can impose heavy demands upon friends and intimates who may, at the same time, find themselves denying their own emotional and physical requirements...particularly if they are sensitive souls.

From an early age, these subjects are inclined to be reckless and wayward, prone to neglect all other matters in favor of amusement and pleasure. Thus, it is important that the children of this cusp combination be guided by a vigilant eye and a firm but loving hand. The inherent persuasive power of Gemini/Cancer natives becomes particularly evident in matters involving money. The males of this cusp have no difficulty in obtaining control over the purse strings of their women friends, while the females of this cusp, with their ingratiating manners and wheedling tones, find it all too easy to secure liberal "loans" without having to provide any form of security. Losses or gains are of little importance to these cuspians. If temporary failure is encountered in one direction, it appears to be regarded as nothing more than a "stepping stone" which will help these subjects to regain their feet...and there always seems to be an endless supply of backers waiting to provide aid. There will always be close family ties with siblings here and these natives often remain quite youthful and light-hearted throughout their entire life. This cusp combination is also likely to produce more ambidextrous people than any other in the Zodiac.

Due to the influence of Mercury (Gemini's planetary ruler), there is a strong desire in this cusp combination to take up new projects and switch occupations. This aspect greatly influences the inherently restless nature of Cancer, which has its own personal conflicts and contrasts. With the Moon in the ascendant, these natives need stability which, in an odd fashion, is provided by the "flashback" to Gemini. Those born on the cusp of Gemini and Cancer become extremely active during the daytime and all other customary working hours. Thus, such individuals are able to overcome the traditional nightly restlessness customarily associated with Cancer natives. This cusp combination has a strong sense of conservatism which restrains those it governs from adopting an unwise or questionable enterprise...a typical fault attributed to the influence of Mercury. Gemini/Cancer cuspians simply refuse to take a gamble or engage in undue risks beyond a well-defined point. Thus, these subjects tend to create their own brand of traditions...conforming to an innate love of the old while accepting and enjoying the new. Basically, this is a very intuitive cusp combination accompanied by a broad-minded outlook and capacity for abstract reasoning. Emotion plays a key part in the lives of Gemini/Cancer cuspians, but it is checked and balanced with logic. The awareness and intellectual approach to life displayed by such individuals is often refreshing and the emotional honesty can be quite admirable. Gemini/Cancer subjects are suited to any of the occupations traditionally associated with the Sign of Cancer (often with a greater chance of success), as well as many other occupations courtesy of the high activity provided by the Gemini background. These are quick-witted individuals who are extremely intrigued with things around them and discover so much happiness in their own activities that they are able to shake off the retrospective moods which are such a handicap to the true Cancer subject. Once these cuspians have attained an aim, they move on to something else...feeling that the more they do in the future, the more satisfied they will be when it becomes the past.

With regard to relationships, Gemini/Cancer cuspians can make for caring, flirtatious and playful individuals with the ability to understand the difficulties any loved one will need to work through. However, marital vows are frequently not taken very seriously, particularly if such vows interfere with personal pursuits. Indeed, in certain circumstances, these can be rather untruthful and unscrupulous individuals. Nevertheless, the females of this cusp combination are extremely attached to their offspring and, in the event of a divorce, will abandon all else and make any sacrifice necessary to enable them to retain custody of their children. With an immense fondness for conversation and food, Gemini/Cancer cuspians find dinner dates with friends to be highly enjoyable. These natives are inherently inquisitive and literary-oriented, which means they embrace mental challenges with equal enthusiasm as they do physical ones. By virtue of a willingness to constantly try something new, they often make for excellent cooks. Their many interests result in an entertaining and stimulating conversationalist who truly loves people. They often enjoy team sports because of the family feeling a team frequently provides. Physical exercise and artistic endeavors...either written or on canvas...will allow Gemini/Cancer subjects to channel their swirling emotions into productive output.

Perhaps the greatest strength of the Gemini/Cancer cuspian is the blending of intellectual and conversational skills. In addition, with an inherently affectionate nature, this cusp is counted among the most caring characters of the Zodiac.

The most important lesson to be learned by Gemini/Cancer natives is that they need to curb any tendency toward excitability and overindulgence in diversions...particularly during those times when the Moon is on the wane. It is also necessary for them to constantly keep an eye on the desired goal and resist the urge to drift. The inherent tendency to repress feelings should also be avoided. As with all cusp individuals, these cuspians tend to be attracted to others born on the cusp...particularly those who fall within the Aquarius/Pisces and Scorpio/Sagittarius combinations.

==Brief Personality Traits==
-- Possess the flighty and energetic traits inherent in Gemini --
-- Possess the deep feeling inherent in Cancer --
-- Often categorized as inspired individuals --
-- Intensely devoted to loved ones --
-- Find it difficult to keep an eye on the desired goal --
-- Prone to drift --
-- Apt to repress feelings --

Source: http://novareinna.com/constellation/

With Me

With Me

It was a dark, rainy afternoon.
Two umbrellas stood by each other.
With a single goodbye,
The two turned and parted.

How come parting seemed so easy
even if I felt like I'm losing a part of me?
Is this what they meant when they said
"Parting is such sweet sorrow"?
I don't understand.

The tears won't fall,
Even if I know
In my heart, there's a chance
We won't see each other again.

Why can't I cry,
Even when my heart
Really feels like crying?
Is it because I'm grown up?
I want to be a child again.

I walked away, 
Splashes made in every step.
I felt like turning around to face you.
But I didn't want to see just your back.

How come parting seemed so easy?
even if I felt like I'm losing a part of me?
Is this what they meant when they said
"Parting is such sweet sorrow"?
I don't understand.

The sky is crying.
I looked at it.
Somehow, I felt it's crying for us.
Do you feel the same way?

I turned around
And saw you smiling at me.
I smiled back, happy that I did.
Finally I left, carrying that smile of yours
With me.

So I can't really call that a poem, as there are hardly any rhymes. As they say: "No rhyme, no reason (to call it a poem)". I came up with it while listening to Yui's "M". I just closed my eyes, listened to the song and wrote down what I could see while listening to it. Thus, I didn't give any time to come up with rhymes. This is also the reason why the POV of the poem might seem like that from a girl. What can I say? It's not exactly my voice I'm hearing ;) 

It's been a while since I last posted something here. Life gets busy and I'm too busy enjoying everything I could in my free time. From that, I'm implying that this blog isn't very high in my priority list. ^^

Well, another term has passed and the beginning of a new term awaits in front of my bed (If you don't get it, tough...). Based on my score last term, one could believe I've really learned my lesson after failing a subject. But I really don't think so.

True, I've been forcing myself to study even when the upcoming test wasn't on the next day. But my motivation to study wavers after each piece of success. It took another disappointment for me to become motivated every time that happened. Conclusion? I'm pretty much the same...

I hope I do at least as well on the upcoming term, if not better. Based on what I've been hearing and witnessing, I'd say it will be a pretty busy term for me. So, like I've failed to update this blog last term, I doubt I'd be able to do so this term.

With that being said, catch ya later! ^^

Growing Up

Growing Up

     Everyday, I learn new things. I find out more about people, and find out more about myself through them. Who am I? A question I believed I've known the answer all my life. All along, I've only been acquainted with my mask.
     Looking back at the days long past, reflecting on my past actions and decisions, I've frequently told myself "That was stupid! Why did you do that?". But that's the proof that I'm growing everyday. That's the proof that I'm smarter than I was yesterday. Through the mistakes that I've made, I get closer to the me that I want to be.

     Last term, I've failed a subject, LINPROG. At the beginning of that term, I already seen that subject as a dangerous one. But as the term continued, I found myself enjoying myself a bit in that subject. It was the last quiz that caused my miscalculation. I thought I aced the test. Because of that, I didn't work as hard as I was supposed to in that subject's finals. After the finals, the results of the last quiz were returned. I found out then that I was doomed to failure.
     During the term before that, I almost failed one subject. I told myself then that I should study harder the next term. Turns out, I failed to do just that.

     Sometimes, almost falling from a cliff is not enough for us to learn our lesson. We just have to learn it the hard way.

     Well, that's it for now! Catch ya later! ^^

US Trip

US Trip

    For the US trip, I'll just post one day. Apparently, that was the only day I took note of.

April 26
     After meeting up with Sandy and Dan, we went to eat in a food court/marketplace like place. I had Cheese Steak, which was everything I would have expected from a Subway sub. After eating, we toured around the city of NY and took some pictures.
     The fun part came after that. We went to visit Sandy's sister, Grace's, place, where there were 5 very cute children: Little Paul, who looks like Jonah xD, Hannah, Sarah, Emmah, and baby John. They just played with Sandy and Dan at first. But after Deryk asked Paul for a game of Monkey in the Middle, Paul started playing games with us, which included weird Dodge Ball, weird Baseball, followed by a game of Hide and Seek, which included Hannah and Sarah. We had dinner before the second round began though.
     After dinner, while Paul was playing N64 games, was the attack of  the Nakey Barbie dolls, which was invoked by unknown reason. It was finally stopped when I started trapping Hannah in a blanket. After that, we just played around randomly. Too bad we won't be seeing them for a very long time. I think I just learned how it is to miss people. If only we took more pictures >.>

     Anyway, I'll post the places where we went to and when (in US time).

April 22- San Francisco
April 24- New York
April 26- Philadelphia
April 28- Washington DC
April 30- Buffalo

May 02- Watkins Glen
May 03- Montgomery
May 05- Orlando
May 09- Las Vegas
May 12- Los Angeles

     I'm not sure if I'll post more.
if (postMore==true)
     System.out.println("Well, that's not it for now, catch ya later! ^^");
else
     System.out.println("Well, that's it for now, catch ya later! ^^");

Cagayan de Oro

Cagayan de Oro

     Finally, I got around to updating my blog again. I'm going t post more than one today to catch up.

     I'm going to start with my family's travel to Camiguin and Cagayan de Oro.

3/19
     Dizzy after the flight, we met up with our tour guide, Tata. We then left the airport and had a 1 and a half hour travel to the place where we had luch. During the travel, we ate one of their food specialty, Pastel. It's condensed milk in a bun... So yummy o.o
     That day, we learned that sea urchins have eyes... and they look at you.
The hotel was great. Too bad we only got to stay there for one day.

3/20
     We visited some churches, went up 7/14 stations of the cross, some of my family members continued. The hotel in Cagayan de Oro isn't as nice as that of Camiguin.

3/21
      We took the Canopy Walk, Ziplin (which was cool), and White water rafting, which was totally awesome except for the sunburn. My feet got sunburned O.o. The water felt so good though.
That night, I still felt like I'm in a raft.

3/22
     The sunburn on my feet was beginning to take effect. We went to see the Maria Christina Falls, the Hydroelectric plant, and another watery place with a waterfall. We didn't swim because of the huge crowd.
     We then went to the Del Monte farm which had unlimited Pineapple juice.
     For dinner, we ate steak :D

3/23
     We walked around the market, which was a bit cleaner than Seaside of Manila. Mom and dad bought many Pastels to take home (Yum...). Then we played cards, and went home.

-End-

     Yeah, I don't remember the details much anymore. I just copied from my summarized journal.

     That's not it for now, catch ya later! ^^

Bad Day

Bad Day

I twisted my ankle yesterday...
I wonder if that's really what happened... Anyway, it hurts T.T
I got 183 in bowling though ^^

I also dreamt about something I'd rather not discuss...
It's about Asterix, our dog. T.T

Also, my classmate didn't return my math notebook to me...
I have a test this coming Thursday... Wasted weekend...

Not one of my better days...

School's Back!

School's Back!

*Sigh*, a new school year once again. Actually, it started a few weeks back but I only felt like posting now.

Anyway, what's new with me?
Where do I start?

Family
My big brother's on a "The Truth" kick, where he likes to talk about the truth and the many things we don't realize. Of course in my opinion, all of those are just theories, no matter how much they make sense.

Studies
As for my studies, I'm back at the blank state in the lectures. Haha, that's where I copy stuff from the board that doesn't even make sense to me. But at least I had a good start. I understood the lessons in the first week. XD

To make it worse, we have a course today where we have to write a long research paper. About 18 pages, if I remember correctly.

Others
Currently, I have a very annoying cough. I won't be surprised if I lose my voice tomorrow. I hope it gets cured soon though. Why? Cause it's annoying.

I started playing O2 Jam once again. I played before, but only occasionally. I love outlasting high level people at Canon. XD Oh yeah, I'm also a translator for Shinobi Legends XD

There are many more topics to talk about. But I forgot most of them.

That's it for now, catch ya later! ^^

Freedom is Mine

Freedom is Mine

Finally, course card distribution is also over. Like I said during the last post, I knew I didn't have high grades. I blame MATH114, INTSTA2, and FILDLAR groupmates. XD

Yeah, I know I can't really blame them since it's all probably my fault. But I will anyway.

Plans for Summer


Probably, aside from going to places with my family, what I'll do for this summer are as follows:
1. Play SL.
2. Forced Exercises... whatever they are.
3. Not-part-of-the-plan chores.
4. Daily things I do such as eat, sleep, etc... (Is SL part of that?)
5. Lie on the bed, bored.
6. Watch T.V. (Which is probably also part of #4)
7. Draw stuffs... (If I feel like it)
8. Lazy fun things...
9. Etc. (I forgot... Oh well...)

That's it for now, catch ya later! ^^

It's *FINAL*ly Over

It's *FINAL*ly Over
Pardon me for that annoying pun...

The finals are finally over. It's almost the end of the third term. What is now left is the course card distribution. *Can't wait!*

No, I don't think I'll get good grades. But after the course card distribution, I will finally feel free... Okay, I've ran out of this to say about this...

Shinobilegends

New topic! Lately, I'm getting more and more obssessed with SL. Darn, it's all her fault T.T. The good news, I have something to do this summer. The bad news, I get so bored when I'm not playing. Why did this have to happen? *Shrugs* Oh well... *Plays SL*

Er... That's it for now, catch ya later! ^^

Snowdome

Snowdome
Kimura Kaela

Where are you going? My angel
Your secret makes me lonely

The peace in the photo, now I’m sleeping an empty sleep
I want to see you again, can we meet somewhere?

Don’t go, my angel
Tell me your secret

Crying alone, remember my smile
Are you still by my side, watching over me?

When you saw the scenery
You said “It’s beautiful!”
I won’t forget your profile

Don’t hide, my angel
Don’t hide your secret

The snow sparkles, memories are always slow
I want to go again, can we go again someday?

Even when I was touched by a huge loneliness, you came to me
Maybe we could have shaken it off again if you’d come

I fly, guided by you
My wings spread and float

The peace in the photo, now I’m sleeping an empty sleep
I want to see you again, can we meet somewhere?

When you saw the scenery
You said “It’s beautiful!”
I still haven’t forgotten
Your profile

When a huge loneliness overwhelms me
I’ll think of you here.

Miya's Song

Miya's Song

Here I am again
Dreaming under the cold, white snow.
Wishing for things that will never be.
It's foolishness,i know.
Many people walk by,
Without batting an eye.
What could I do to make them see?
How could I make them look at me?

Why do I even hope?
Why do I even try?
If my frozen tears can't reach them
No matter how hard I cry.
Will I ever feel
A warm love that's real?
Will I be able to see
Someone who will finally care for me?

Here I am again
Looking through a window frame.
Envying the family
In front of the cozy flame.
Will there be a time,
That this frozen heart of mine
Just like the spring will melt the snow,
Will my frozen heart ever thaw?

Well, for some people who have been noticing my recent ym status, and getting strange thoughts about it, I posted where they (the status...es?) came from. Anyway...

Long Delayed Update

Just like the title said, this is my long delayed update. The following will be about our stay in Kota Kinabalu, which was during Christmas.

1st Day:
Obviously, the first day was our arrival. We arrived there in the afternoon, about 4 something. After a few minor details, we ate dinner. Dinner was great, there was a big tofu that everyone can't determine whether it was tofu or steamed egg. Haha, that was until we asked. After that, we went to our hotel, the "Berjaya Palace Hotel". It was okay, except for the sounds that the aircon and something in the room made alternatively every minute or so. I had a hard time sleeping then since I remembered Deryk's story about their stay in U.S.. According to him, they encountered ghosts there, and as I imagined his story, the set up was pretty much like our room.

2nd Day:
We began our 2nd day by getting ready (baths and stuff), followed by breakfast. Our breakfast was... unexplainable... in a bad way. The only good thing there was the donuts, haha. Since I can't remember the schedule anymore, I'll first discuss the meals. Lunch was good, especially the chicken. Since we liked it so much, my dad ordered more, yum, hehe. For dinner, we had seafood. It was okay, but was nothing compared to last night's dinner, although I liked the lamb. There was also a show after dinner. Frankly, the only part I liked was the pea shooting, where we shoot balloons. The activities for the day was a forest trek (my poor shoes... they're brown). It was great, unlike I expected. I liked the story James, our guide, shared. It was about why we can't mention names in the forest, then someone mentioned mine.

That, night, I remembered both Deryk's story and the forest story. I couldn't sleep, especially after Nygel started snoring wierdly, like someone calling my name (Adrian? haha). The scary part was that was the reason why you can't mention people's name in the forest. If you do, the spirits will use it to call you in the night. The moment you answer, it's over.

3rd Day:
The third day was banana day. Our breakfast was worse than yesterday, except for the fired banan (reminds me of MHCS, haha) and no... there are no donuts this time. Our lunch was good (so many bananas, haha). Our dinner was good, except for the fact that I wasn't feeling hungry at all. So I ate only a little.

Our activities for this day was the wild river rapids, which was the funnest experience in the trip. Another activity was the firefly watching. It was supposed to be monkey-watching, but they were so far away that we couldn't see them much. The fireflies were great, they were so many there, they lit up the trees like a Christmas tree (not exaggerating). We rode speedboats to watch the monkeys and fireflies, it was good. Oh yeah, according to my mini journal (paper), the firefly experience was great at first but was boring when we stopped at each firefly place.

After dinner, we went backto the hotel. On the way, James told us many stories that were very amazing if they were true (bouncing coffin, lol). Also, while on the bus, the bus ran over a dead skunk. Because of that, the bus stunked a lot (my bag!!!).

Anyway, this night was the best night so far since I got my first peaceful sleep. How? I arranged my little brother and my bed like in our room. With that, the noise didn't bother me at all. It was like being at home.

4th Day:
The fourth day was Christmas. The breakfast was worse than ever. The lunch was good (buffet at beach). Our dinner was also good... actually, I forgot the details.

Anyway, our activities was we went to the beach from 9:30-1:30. The beach was very rocky. Snorkeling was useless since the tide was low. Well, typical beach... I hate it... The only good part was the speedboat to and from the beach. After that, we went to a mall and chocolate factory (mm, freebies). I thought the chocolate's will be very cheap. I was very wrong.

Anyway, like last night, this night is another peaceful one.

5th Day:
We went back home. There were surprisingly so many people in the airport. It was so hot.

That's it for our Kota Trip.

Oh, by the way, the results of my MATH113 test was great, pulled my average way up. Haha. On the other hand, my INTSTA1 test did the opposite.

That's it for now, catch ya later ^^

The Little Child

The Little Child

He cried over the saddest things
And no one seemed to care
But a little boy who seemed to know nothing
Who couldn't help but stare

Why isn't anyone helping
If everyone can see?
Oh, he's just overreacting
I'd stop if I were he.

The kid stared in deep silence
At the man, no one could see
Something must be bothering him
For him to cry as he.

The child decided to reach out
to the man who cried and cried.
and the man shared with him
all his problems wide.

In the end, all he needed
was simply a listening ear
everything was finally well
the man, deprived from tears.

How did you know
What I simply need?
If everyone else around you
won't even stop to heed?

The kid smiled at the man
And explained why he did
He simply acted in a whim
Without thinking of his deed.

I wasn't afraid that
they might be right all along
What I was afraid of was
What if they were wrong?

Ah, Nothing like noobish poetry, haha. Okay, so maybe you, if you exist, are wondering why I suddenly had two updates. Well, the answer is because the update before this was simply posted late... Very late, I might add.

Anyway, after a long time, the second term is finally over. Sad as it may be, it means farewell to many of my blockmates. Though the time was short, I really felt happy and accepted with you guys.

Anyway, how did I do on my finals? *Shudder* I hope I did well xp. The two dangerous subjects are Math113 and Intsta1. Although I'm kinda safe with Intsta1 because of my tests, I'm in danger because of the finals. As for the Math113... I don't want to think about that anymore. Haha.

Hmm... Oh look, It's 4:00pm. New game day time! Haha. That's it for now, I guess. Catch ya later ^^